Grammer Cop: we don't want to see your BUTs

At Amadeus, we were encouraged to replace the word "but" with the word "and" in our writing, especially in professional communications. This is not always easy to remember or accomplish! I recently had the opportunity to explain the concept to a friend who has been sending out requests for informational interviews:

Starting your letter with "I am not looking for a job from you, but..." says the opposite of your intent. That construction, the clause followed by BUT, besides starting with a negative statement, is heard as follows: "I am not looking for a job from you, BUT blah blah some cover story for this email and please give me a job please please." I guarantee people will not hear what comes after the BUT. Consider softening that statement and putting it later. No BUTs! (You can try substituting ANDs if you can make it sound natural.)

How about, "As I search for my next career move, I am reaching out to people in the industry to network and to learn and share ideas." Basically that says, "I am looking for a job AND I am networking" without asking for a job directly. See how that plays differently from "I am NOT seeking a job from you BUT I want to talk to you anyway."

Using my own advice, I wrote this sentence to my friend:

"By the way, great letter! Is there some way you can put more of your own voice into the language? That would convey more sincerity and will help you get a better response."

...which was originally written thusly:

"By the way, your letter is a good start, but I'd like to hear something more in your own voice, sounding a little more sincere."

...which would be heard as "By the way, your letter sucks and sounds like it was ripped from a template." (Perhaps my inner self-critic just leaked out, as that is what my internal dialogue sounds like!)

All three sentences convey the same essential idea that was loosely formed in my brain, but they all express it differently and thus impact your emotions in different ways. (Which of the 3 above sentences would be more likely to inspire you to take action and rewrite your letter?)

FYI, if I had started with a negative, such as: "your letter is NOT bad, BUT" the effect would have been a even more negative. That's because, like algebra, the two negatives of NOT and BAD cancel each other out.

Now that I've finally bridged the math and verbal disciplines, I bid you adieu.